Saw V (2008)

*SPOILERS ALERT*

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of the Saw franchise. I have defended the new style of horror for years and always will. I understand the opposition to the so called “torture porn” style horror, however, everyone has their own taste and I don’t find the ’70s, 80s or even most of the 90s style horror to be all that entertaining, I do find Hostel, Saw, Feast, etc. entertaining. What can I say, I love seeing viscera. More importantly I love seeing other people’s reaction to it.

The Saw films are definitely no exception to making people squirm. From someone cutting their own leg off to someone drowning in pig guts, the Saw films always seem to top themselves when it comes to killing someone. Unfortunately, Saw V not only takes a step back but it looses all of the energy that Saw IV had.

I had wondered why there was little information flowing out of Lionsgate about Saw. Up until this year there had always been a trailer in August (excluding the first Saw as it wasn’t expected to be such a hit in the first place). I now understand why. Saw V just plain stinks. It is clear that the writers are trying to bridge Saw V and VI so that Detective Hoffman can take over as Jigsaw, however, I thought that’s what Saw IV was for? And in fact it did. If you look at Saw V, not a single trap was actually Hoffman’s, they were all John’s. John designed and set in motion Saw V’s traps. Hoffman didn’t even understand what the box was for until he was in it (from the look on his face anyway).

The trap for the five victims is interesting, I’ll give the creators that, however, it was poorly executed. The acting was both over the top in some places and below average in others. I also now understand why David Hackl isn’t directing Saw VI, he stinks at it. He’s been a second unit director for a while now (since Saw III), but I guess some people aren’t made to sit in the big boy’s chair. Bousman’s vision was well defined and stood out, Hackl’s doesn’t.

As Bloody Disgusting stated in their review, “SAW V looked like a made-for-TV movie that might air on the Sci-Fi Channel. It was dull, boring and even looked cheap. There’s literally someone holding or looking through a file in every single scene (outside of the traps) as if it’s they’re there just to add something to the empty space.”

While I disagree with the idea that it has become dull, I do agree that this film was boring. I had figured out the ending way before we even got their. There were some details I hadn’t thought of (the box with glass in it), but for the most part I knew it all. There was no twist, at least not a good one.

This film felt more like a M. Night film than a Saw film. Bad on the writers for even trying this. They could have show flashbacks of Strahm getting killed the way it was meant to be instead of having an entire film about him being framed.

I do agree with BD on one thing, it is amazing how long the Saw franchise has been able to it up. The team behind Saw has done a great job and I have loved every second of Saw, well, up until Saw V. I think it is high time they take a break and come back in a few years. They need the original writers back (Leigh Whannel and James Wan) and they need Bousman in the director’s chair. I know we won’t get all of that, but time off would certainly do them some good.

Saw = 9/10
Saw II = 8/10
Saw III = 7.5/10
Saw IV = 7.5/10
Saw V = 3/10

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Some history first: In 1999, Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich wrote a "10-minute opera" called, "The Necro-Merchant's Debt." It was a tell about a grave robber who falls in debt to an organ repo man.

Audiences loved the film so much that they demanded to know more about the world of the Necro-Merchant and the mysterious organ-snatcher. So over the next two years, Darren and Terrance honed their vision and began working on a longer version and assembled a cast of actors and musicians and began staging rock n' roll cabaret shows at nightclubs throughout LA. And thus Repo! The Genetic Opera was born!

In 2002, Hollywood's John Raitt Theatre became home to Repo. They needed a director. Fate brought them a young director from Kansas City with a passion for rock operas: Darren Lynn Bousman.

After the success of Bousman's turn at Saw, he started looking to adapt Repo to a feature film. In 2006, he directed a short film based on the original 10-minute opera to get financial backing.

In 2008, Darren Lynn Bousman presented Repo! The Genetic Opera to world at the FanTasia Film Festival. Here is my review…

In a world where most people are satisfied with the constant remakes and sequels comes a stunningly creative and beautifully gruesome film. A rock opera no less. A cross between Blade Runner and Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The story is simple: A beautiful young girl (played by the absolutely brilliant Alexa Vega) was born with a rare blood disease. Her father (Anthony Stewart Head) has imprisoned her in her room for her own safety. But he has dark secrets of his own, he secretly pays of a debt as a vicious organ repo man for Geneco, a biotech conglomerate.

Geneco is the company that rules the land, run by the tyrannical Rotti Largo, played by veteran character actor Paul Sorvino, who attempts to lure our young heroine into his clutches with promises of unearthing secrets and leaving his company to her, a plan which alarms his 3 maniacal and cracked children, played with gusto by Bill Moesley, Nivek Ogre from Skinny Puppy and Paris Hilton.

When I first heard that Paris Hilton was play in the film, I had my doubts, but after getting to see the film this past Friday, I must admit she was absolutely brilliant. She was funny, sexy and she sang beautifully. She did a great job and she should be extremely proud of her work on this film.

Repo! The Genetic Opera is a film that is every bit as creative as it is ballsy. It is extraordinarily original, especially in a day where the cinema is ruled by sequels and remakes. Darren Smith, Terrance Zdunich, and Darren Lynn Bousman have put together a masterpiece film that all musical lovers, horror fans, or fans of originality alike should see.

A special note: This film, being so different from a typical cinema film, can only make it by word of mouth. I encourage everyone to write, email, call Lionsgate to get them to put this film in a wide release. Currently is will only get a limited release Nov. 7 (most likely NYC and LA). I understand that this film probably won't be for everyone, but don't write it off just because it is a horror film or a musical.

10 out of 10

NOTE: Some elements, such as history, were taken from the Repo! The Genetic Opera's official website, from Fangoria's website and also from Horror-Movies.

LASIK is t3h r0xx0rz!

So this last Thursday I went to get LASIK eye surgery done and as of right now I have nothing but good things to say about it. The procedure is extremely simple and there’s absolutely no pain whatsoever. The only discomfort during the procedure I had was the suction ring they put over your eye before cutting the corneal flap, but this only last 20 seconds for each eye. The most common complication with the surgery is at this point because of the pressure on your eye you can get a subconjunctival hemorrhage (think of this like a hicky on your eye), but this normally goes away after a couple of days (for some possibly up to two weeks). I have this in my left eye, but it is hidden by my eye lid so I didn’t even notice it until I was putting in my eye drops and someone said, “that disgusting looking.”

After they cut both flaps, the doctor opens the one on the right and then puts you under the laser that molds the cornea. This normally takes about 17 seconds for each eye and is completely painless. When the first eye is complete the doctor closes the flap and smooths it out. The other eye is done and then you go into a little waiting room where you keep your eyes closed for about 15 minutes and then the doctor puts in some steroid eye drops and some antibiotic eye drops.

The only side effect I’ve had so far is what is called the halo effect which should go away after a couple of weeks (for some it takes a month or so). Thankfully, however, only my left eye has the halo effect and I’ve noticed it is already starting to fade away.

Before I got the LASIK eye surgery I was at 20-40 and now I’m at 20-15 in both eyes. I have a fantastic doctor that explained every bit of the procedure and even the possible complications that does include possible lose of vision, but as it stands right now I can see better than what I ever could with glasses and contacts.

[EDIT] I forgot to mention, the surgery is so easy and painless I went to Denny’s to eat lunch after the surgery. This isn’t something I would recommend though because it hard on the eyes, but hey I was hungry. I recommend exactly what the doctor says to do, go home and sleep for a couple of hours (at least 2-4, more the better) and by the time you wake up you should be able to do whatever you want: drive, play video games, read, do jigsaw puzzles.

LASIK this Thursday

So this Thursday (6/14) I’m going under the laser to have the LASIK Eye Surgery done. Anyone here ever have it done before? Just curious what you thought about the procedure and are you satisfied. I’ve done a lot of research on the subject and am fully satisfied with what I’ve found out thus far, which is why I’m getting it obviously…